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Funny Pickup Lines...Aren't. How to Talk to Women? Try less.

If you're not seeing a list of Funny Pickup Lines, and thinking of ditching, I wholeheartedly suggest you don't. At least, read this warning first:

A sense of humor is one of the big female turn ons, and if it’s a turn on that suggests that it’s not completely common, and so, yeah, some dudes are getting it wrong. If your sense of humor tends to be met with disgust and walk-aways, you might want to opt for one of the other top female turn ons that you’re capable of executing, known as Shutting Up. And, if you’re unsure, you might want to go with it anyway when choosing how to talk to women.

Consider the fact that funny pickup lines rarely are. The famous first impression isn’t made with one line. Yes, the first impression is potentially ruined with one line, but a great opener, no matter how brilliant, doesn’t seal the deal. It only dares the girl to watch you inevitably not sustain it. Your genius line is a burst of fireworks, and you’ve got her attention because as fireworks fall to the ground dead, they make pretty patterns. And you’re waiting for the next one. More than likely, you don’t have even a single second firework.

Seriously, why are you people searching online for ‘funny pickup lines’ in the plural? You think you’re going to deliver one, and then pause, walk away two feet, return and offer the second? Anything listed online as a funny pickup line is probably going to sound like a pickup line, and therefore blows. Pickup lines don’t pick people up; guns do.

In the land of How to Talk to Women, the pickup line is a magical creature that leads people astray. The ‘funny pickup line’ is the most outrageous legend surrounding its existence.

It’d be like if there was a term floating about called the Secure-a-Husband Penis Bite, and women were always trying to find a better method of biting a man’s dick off as an attempt to secure marriage…searching online for lists of and asking girlfriends for tips on the best Secure-a-Husband Penis Bites.

It’s more important not to repulse a girl during the first — not just minute — but few evenings you hang out with her, because the less you give her, the more likely her Hope will cause her to fill in the blanks of your personality in your favor. Don’t get in the way of that. It’s usually the blanks that do your greatest bidding.


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